Monday, 3 December 2012

I consider myself an experienced, and up to two nights ago, a responsible user of 5-MeO-DiPT. So, on the evening in question, I measure out a typical dose of GBL, intending to spend a relaxing evening at home, basking in the gentle euphoria of a substance which I had not used in a few months. My this tastes nasty, I thought to myself as I downed the chemical. It sure doesn't get any better! In fact, I don't remember GBL ever tasting this bad, with such a lasting after taste to boot, I continued in my head. The taste shock was quickly replaced by recognition, and the realization that a mislabeling error must have had me erroneously mark the 5-MeO-DiPT as GBL and vice versa, which in turn resulted in an accidental ingestion of a whopping 38mg of 5-MeO-DiPT, far, far above the usual 6mg to which I am unusually sensitive.

I quickly panicked, realizing that this idiosyncratic sensitivity to 5-MeO-DiPT, which had been so practical in the past, may turn into a nightmare now. I tried to throw up, to no avail. I drank water and tried to throw up, again to no avail. After about 5 minutes of cursing myself, I looked at the watch and realized that I had about 20 minutes to make my environment as comfortable as possible before the intensity would descend on me. I dashed to the medicine cabinet and downed about 15 caps of activated charcoal, hoping that this anti-toxin would adsorb some of the chemical. I then measured out 3 small doses of _true_ GBL into three separate glasses. Under the first one I placed a note saying '+60 minutes', under the second, one 'saying t+3 hours', under the third one saying 't+6 hours'. I would thus be prepared with a stepped anxiolytic response, should it be necessary, whith intakes spaced far apart enough to avoid any overdose.

No sooner than I finished tiding up my apartment, dimmed the lights, put some incense on, that a rush of energy surged through my body. Here we go, I told myself. I sat down and started to breath, trying to calm myself down. But this went no where. My heart rate started to go up. My body/mind was in full flight or fight response. I'm gonna blow a fuse, I heard myself chanting over and over as a mantra. Ok, enough of this: first dose of GBL, down the hatch. I ripped my clothes off and started giving various parts of my body a massage, thereby hopefully shifting my focus to one of pleasure. It worked. The intensity of the panic transformed into an ecstatic writhing on the floor, at the realization that I was in a physical body meant for pleasure. These feelings were eventually further catalyzed by the onset of the GBL. I would be ok.

Once I was able to relax, I noticed that the 5-MeO-DiPT was giving me intense trails and electric OEV patterns everywhere. My coordination was somewhat off, but no completely shot. I then embarked on an interesting and very educational mental trip about my reactions to life's little and big mishaps: I realized, that I usually only delude myself into thinking that I am in trouble, pointing out the fact that my consciousness seems divided in two: one part that reacts hysterically, and another that knows, deeply and intuitively, exactly the level of survivability of any given situation.

The first part seemed to be an amalgamation of social ideas and warnings, gleaned for the mass media, and the anxious thoughts of people around me, while the second, the core, consisted in a feeling of true beingness. I realized that I had just shifted, out of ultimate necessity, and for the first time in a conscious manner, away from the monkey mind, towards my true essence. Everything would be OK.

And everything turned out OK. I did not need the other two doses of GBL. I just got comfortable moving about in an environment in which my perceptual loudness had been ratcheted up to level 10, which at times got quite funny and comical, at others quite pleasurable, and the rest of the time, simply intense. This lasted for about 8 hours, at the end of which I felt oddly purged and cleaned out. Sleep didn't come until about 4 hours after the end of the trip. There were no other after effects.

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